Essentially, it's a must. Plus-ones, however, is where it gets tricky. Some etiquette experts suggest that if the bridal party member is invited to your wedding with a date, they should also be able to bring the date to the dinner party on your wedding eve. Others argue that the "plus-one" option need only apply on your actual wedding date. If you have a flower girl or ring bearer, technically they should be invited, too—but this largely depends on their age and relationships.
If they are a child of a bridal party member, it would go a long way to invite them. If not, a non-invitation makes more sense. For guests that are traveling for your big day, it's a nice token to extend a rehearsal dinner invitation. They're taking on the expense of time and money to celebrate you, so including them in your pre-wedding celebrations is often customary.
However, each situation is unique. If you're having a destination wedding, for example, everyone is traveling, so if you're having an intimate rehearsal dinner, you clearly can't invite everyone.
Unlike your bridal party and immediate family, this one's entirely up to you. Plan for cocktails and desserts to have a little fun while still keeping the costs down. Many couples choose officiants they have close relationships with. If this is the case, whether it's a religious leader you've grown close with through the years or your best friend—invite them to the rehearsal dinner with you.
Typically, it will be immediately following your actual rehearsal, and it's a customary gesture that will surely be appreciated and welcomed. Your Privacy Rights. Just remember: whoever pays gets the last word on the details! Bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, flower girls and ring bearers with their adult supervision, of course! In Jewish tradition, for example, it's customary for anyone invited to the wedding to be invited to the rehearsal dinner. The feeling is that they've flown out, they've given a gift, and they need to eat.
End of story. That said, you do have the right to invite who you want —or even to hold two kinds of events. While some etiquette purists say two events makes some guests feel excluded and awkward, more and more couples are now opting to have their dinner at a swanky restaurant with the usual close-knit crew, then meet up with more friends and out-of-towners later at the restaurant's bar for the pre-wedding toasts.
If your budget precludes including every single wedding guest at the posh rehearsal dinner, send out a different invitation to those you can't host. It's all in how you word the invite: Simply ask this group of guests to arrive at a later time for the rehearsal "party. One more thing: Destination wedding etiquette usually involves inviting everyone in attendance to the rehearsal dinner or some sort of pre-wedding event.
As soon as you can make the reservation, do it, but the general consensus is at least three to six months in advance of the date. By three months out, couples have a good idea how many guests will be attending and they can plan the rehearsal accordingly.
Consider scheduling your rehearsal dinner on a Thursday night if you're having a Saturday wedding. There's an excellent chance you'll reduce the cost of your rehearsal dinner, plus everyone can party as much as they want, sleep it off on Friday, and wake up for a wonderful wedding on Saturday. Hangovers are not invited. Osteria Via Stato. There are so many great rehearsal dinner venues it's hard to pick one! Coordinators can help steer you in the right direction, but a favorite restaurant is always a good choice.
Select a place that's close to your rehearsal site so that it's convenient for your guests, and make sure you've reserved a private room if you're going to break out the naked baby picture slides or karaoke machine.
Need a bit more guidance? We've got you covered. Ahead, you'll learn everything you need to know about rehearsal dinner etiquette.
First things first: Let's cover what a rehearsal dinner is. There are no hard rules when it comes to where to host your rehearsal dinner, which means you can use it as an opportunity to do something fun.
Still, it's a good idea to keep logistics in mind. I've even taken over a bowling alley once. The only faux pas Davies warns against is hosting the rehearsal dinner at your wedding venue or at another location that will upstage the wedding day itself. Most importantly, she says, is to make sure the location is a space people feel comfortable interacting in.
As far as the rehearsal dinner's theme and decor —as well as how formal or casual it should be—that's completely up to the couple and the ambiance they envision. Some couples might want a glitz-and-glam rehearsal dinner to match their wedding, while some might opt for a more casual event focused on spending quality time with loved ones. If you want to have some fun, Davies suggests going for decor that has a less-romantic aesthetic think darker tones and candles instead of flowers.
This creates a nice juxtaposition for what your guests will likely experience at the wedding the next day, which tends to focus on more whites and creams. But again, it's totally up to you what style and vibe you want to create. Traditionally, the groom's parents pay for and host the rehearsal dinner, while the bride's family pays for and hosts the wedding.
However, with modern couples and same-sex weddings, that rule doesn't really apply anymore. Who funds and hosts the rehearsal dinner—whether it's one partner's family, both families or the couple themselves—will depend on the specific couple.
According to tradition, the wedding party bridesmaids and groomsmen , the couple's immediate family and anyone else participating in the ceremony —such as the officiant, flower girl and ring bearer—are invited to the rehearsal dinner, along with their partners and plus-ones, Davies says. However, she adds that in recent years, some couples have transformed the rehearsal dinner to be a larger welcome reception that also includes extended family members, out-of-town guests, and sometimes the entire wedding guest list.
If you're having a traditional rehearsal dinner with an intimate group immediate family and wedding party , Davies says it's not necessary to send separate invitations for the rehearsal dinner.
However, she does recommend creating an itinerary for them that includes all of the wedding events during the weekend, along with their duties, to ensure everyone is on the same page and travel arrangements can be booked accordingly. This is important, she says, because there is often so much emphasis on the rehearsal dinner that the actual wedding rehearsal gets treated as an afterthought and some wedding party members end up missing it due to travel and scheduling issues.
If you decide to have a larger welcome reception in place of a traditional rehearsal dinner, Davies recommends including those details in the formal wedding invitation and requesting that guests RSVP. The rehearsal dinner is also a great time for speeches , which are typically less formal than those given during the wedding reception.
Davies notes that it's customary for the hosts to give the first welcome toast of the evening, followed by other family members, close friends, members of the wedding party, the couple themselves, or anyone else who is important to the couple and won't have the opportunity to speak at the wedding reception.
Regardless of who's speaking, Davies advises planning the speeches ahead of time to avoid the evening turning into an open mic night. Plus, a predetermined plan helps those who will be giving speeches remember to keep them short and sweet. Main Menu. Sign Up. Back to Main Menu. Planning Tools. Wedding Vision. Discover Your Vision. Take The Knot's Style Quiz.
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